charmedvampire

Piper: “A year after the death of Snow White’s mother, the king remarried, but his new bride was in fact a wicked witch. (Paige walks in.) One consumed by…”

Paige: What are you still doing up?

Piper: Not sleeping as usual. First trimester nonsense, I guess.

Paige: You want me to mix you up a potion?

Piper: Oh, no thanks. I don’t wanna turn my baby into a guinea pig. I’ve got enough to worry about.

Paige: Like I’d ever risk turning my future niece into a rodent, please.

Piper: No, I was speaking figuratively. And it’s not a knock at your super witch kick, it’s just I don’t want to subject her to anything that could be remotely bad for her, that’s all.

Paige: Well, then maybe you should put away those silly fairy tales.

Piper: Silly? You think fairy tales are silly?

Paige: Yeah, they’re all about helpless women needing big, strong men to come and rescue them. Plus, they’re filled with evil witches. Do you really wanna teach your kid that?

Piper: No, I want to teach her values and that’s what fairy tales are best at, you know, good overcomes evil. It’s how Grams taught us.

Paige: Well, my grandmother taught me values just fine without big wolves devouring little girls. You want my advice?

Piper: Not really.

(Paige walks over to the Book Of Shadows.)

Paige: You should ditch the fiction and do what all other mums-to-be do and that is to rely on your natural instincts.

(Paige picks up the Book Of Shadows and takes it to Piper.)

Piper: Well, my natural instincts are to panic and besides, every other mother-to-be doesn’t have to worry about her child orbing out to Tahiti when they are sent to their room. I don’t have a clue.

Paige: Luckily you have two magical sisters who are gonna help you any way they can. So don’t worry, honey, you’re gonna be just fine.